Not now, I am tired

I think the words that serve as the title of this short article are the most horrible words that you or I would like to hear. They tell us that there is no space or time for us and even causes much pain and anguish in relationships. To my mind there are three relationship areas that are affected by these words:


More pressure is placed on a father to perform in the workplace. In most instances the very security of his position in the organisation depends on how many skills he has. Gone are the days where you only needed to specialise in one field. Today you must be able to know your job as well as be computer literate and an added bonus would be your ability to also run errands for the organisation. 

From time to time I look at the job adverts and it is just common practise to read adverts that have words “ ... will be an added advantage to those who apply for this post”. It seems so unfair but we have no alternative but to just upgrade our marketable skills and value.  Unfortunately the ultimate result of this means that we are faced with stress and when we get home we just do not want to be confronted by problems. A man comes home from the workplace and he wants to just have some time to relax and read the newspaper or maybe watch some television. So if somebody dares to speak to him it is inevitable for them to hear the words “not now I am tired”.


Just like the men more and more women are faced with having to be involved with augmenting the family income. Gone are the days when working was an option if you did not want to stay at home. When I was a young boy I was told that the mother was the homemaker and the person responsible for raising the children. In many instances one had the romantic notion of a tired husband coming home and his adoring wife greeting him with an affectionate hug and kiss, and then serving him a nice cup of coffee. Today this is all wishful thinking because we are faced with women who now get up at the same time as their husbands. They rush into the bathroom and get ready for the office and all the problems that are associated with the office. No longer is the women expected to be a mere copy typist but as soon as she gets into the office she is supposed to organise her boss’ diary and appointments.  At the end of the day they go wearily back home and then they are expected to smile and be the wonderful wife and mother that is expected of them. Instead all you get is “ Not now I am tired”.


Just imagine! A child comes home from school and wants to speak to mom or dad, and instead of moral support he is just sent off. Mom and dad are tired. Where does such a child fit in. All of a sudden it just seems as if there is no room or space for the child. Nobody to speak to, and nobody seems to care. Children are exposed to a cruel existence that they do not understand or were not prepared for. They wanted and expected our affection and attention and instead they are ignored. Unfortunately we do not realise that as adults we are busy shaping our children to live lives that do not include us. We sometimes try to say that we are teaching them independence but to be honest with you we are allowing them to be like us.  There comes a time in the life of an adult as they get older that they want to see their children but sadly they too hear the words “ Not now I am tired”. You may ask what is the moral of this short article? I think we must all stop and re-evaluate our family life. God planned the family as a unit and the family is at the centre of God’s program for us if we read Ephesians 5 through 6.  Sadly I must dare to say that the family is in trouble and as this is the international year of the family I intend looking at the troubled family through the eyes of the Word of God. Please take time to save your family relationships by making time for each other and not trying to chase each other away with some feeble excuse. We may all feel tired and worn out but stop and just give each other a few moments and I can assure you that you will be doing much to build up your precious family.